You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
