she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize