no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
