his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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