Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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