I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize