I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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