I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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