in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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