The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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