Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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