never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
