Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
