Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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