I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
