so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
