I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
