My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
