I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
