I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
tell me about the eggs
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
