I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
