Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
