I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
