You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
