my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
