the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
