Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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