i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
