Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
