btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The power of my boobs compel you
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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