Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
