Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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