The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
