hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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