His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Acid is not a monday night drug
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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