i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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