i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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