They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
