She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
