why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
