She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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