Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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