Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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