Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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