let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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