I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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