Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
