We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
