I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
