If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
