Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just googled if crying burns calories
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just want nice things and good sex
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
