just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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