i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
