That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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