Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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