I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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