I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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