this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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