So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
