I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
