Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
