im gay
i know
yea but for you.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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