just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
