your room smells of hookers.
And success
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
