im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
