She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
