Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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