I wish I only lived at night.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Someone stole a lamp last night.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize