So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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