i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize